hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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