dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
