you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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