Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
the day after is always just damage control
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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