The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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