"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
