So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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