pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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