you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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