i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why can't burritos get me drunk
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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