i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
