Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
