How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
