New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
