By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
