New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
