honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
