THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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