Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
zippers are such a cool invention
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
