Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the condom got lost in my hair
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
