She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
