I think im going to throw up on grandma
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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