omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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