So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
