White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
