its not stalking. its research.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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