i permit you to call me
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
