Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
FUCK WHALES
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
