I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
