I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
