I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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