Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
where am i from again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
