Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
