Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Can I color on your dick again?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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