wat bout pragnant strippers??
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
