do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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