"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
