My room smells like vodka and shame
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
