But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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