Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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