a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
