drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
