Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
