I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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