Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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