You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
