There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
