How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
