is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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