Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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